A Quiet Revolution

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead
US anthropologist & popularizer of anthropology (1901 - 1978)

I was going to write about teething today, as Miss Isla is sprouting molars right and left and has decided she can't get enough nursing to ease the discomfort..., but I decided to be pissed off instead and write about something else.

It is no surprise to me that an anthropologist (well, not just any Anthropologist, but Margaret Mead, people!) would write two of the most enduring and truthful and meaningful sentences ever written.  As an anthropologist, it is sometimes hard for me to see things small scale anymore.  I see so many big things going wrong all over the world and their complexity and the very interrelatedness of almost all events and lives is often staggering.  Often, I find myself floundering by trying to choose what to become passionate about.  There's too much to choose from!  Maybe I shouldn't fight anything, but that's not me, and I know it.  But what do I do when I'm completely turned inside out with outrage and despair when I hear about something tragic?  Usually, like most people, I don't do anything, and eventually the indignation and anger and momentum falls away quietly like a tide.  So I've decided that maybe I need to start small.  Make a list.  A lot of things piss me off, and I need to get them off my chest and out of my heart, and maybe, just maybe I'll be bold enough to try to change something, however small, because I truly do believe that one small act can be felt around the world.

So.  My list.  And I am not going to explain anything, just use these as a springboard.  Perhaps for your own discussion.

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF 

(and maybe you, as well)

Driving on Beaches

Unsustainable lifestyles

Too many birth interventions

Rampant consumerism

Child abuse and neglect

Animal abuse

Bigotry

Homophobia

Our apparent disregard for the Earth

Reality television that exploits children

Ignorance

People who think their beliefs are "right" and others are "wrong"

And oh, there is SO very much more.  So so much.  But what to do?  Bury my head in the sand and go drop $100 bucks at Target?  That's pretty much been my MO for the last several years.  Certainly I can make all sorts of excuses such as "my children are my priority now - I don't have time to help", but that's probably bullshit.  Simply because I am amazingly fortunate and grateful and totally in love with my life as a parent doesn't mean that I don't think about how f-cked up our world is.  Perhaps it eats at me even more simply because I find myself constantly asking, "what kind of world am I leaving for my children?"  Thoughts like that make me want to bury my head in the sand.  

Anyway, one thing that has me recently outraged is the story I linked about the four year old being killed by a car driving on the beach.  CARS HAVE NO PLACE ON THE BEACH.  Damn, on Hilton Head a few years ago a person was killed by an emergency vehicle driving on the beach.  Sheesh!  Now, I understand that emergency vehicles probably need to be able to come down, but THAT IS IT!  This poor baby boy was the second child in FOUR MONTHS in THIS COUNTY to be struck and killed by a car on the beach!

Now, I'm not blaming the people who drive on the beach, after all, it's allowed; the responsibility rests with the city.  Not enough beach parking they cry.  BUILD SOME.  Rip down some piece of shit, empty high rise and dilapidated mid-century hotel with hourly rates and BUILD SOME PARKING.  Sooo many beaches in this country are protected from beach driving these days, and yet, Florida has far too many.  And I've been on lots of them.  It's a lot of redneck posturing and people driving way too fast with radios blaring WAY too loud.  Am I stereotyping?  Um, not really.  There are a lot of normal beach going folks who just want to get out there, get their towels down and build a sand castle or whatnot.  You know what, even I have driven on the beach.   In Jacksonville.  And afterwards I thought about it.  "Hmm, that kind of sucked.  And we should leave now".  This beach has no other way to get out to it except by car, so in that regard I can kind of understand, but I also think, You know?  There are plenty of beaches, maybe this small strip should just be left in peace.  Besides, that park had PLENTY of other easily accessible entrances to other beach areas.  Why must we exploit every freaking inch?!?!?!?

*sigh.  So, I am going to be a vocal opposition to beach driving.  Slowly but hopefully surely, I will fight to eliminate beach driving from Volusia County.  That's one thing I can try to do.

Instinct Insanity

The event I am about to describe happened over a week ago, but it has been weird to process, and so bizarre that my husband and I have barely even discussed it with each other.  It is significant, likely unforgettable and yet, was such a quick, maybe 1 minute and 30 seconds of our lives, that it seems almost like it didn't happen.

So - the other weekend, on Sunday, my husband, the two children and I were up early.  We had our usual weekend breakfast routine of The Daisy Cafe just down the street and then we decided we would like to go to the Henry Vilas Zoo (that's the free zoo here in Madison).  As we're driving along, we get to this construction zone where the road is partitioned off by little reflective stick things that funnel the cars off into the appropriate lanes.  We're putting along in our old, blue station wagon and crazy from nowhere comes this small, red car zooming right behind us at crazy mach speed and fishtailing and honking at us and scaring the crap out of us.  Mind you, this is IN A CONSTRUCTION ZONE (of course, it was Sunday, so no workers out or anything).  He can't pass us due to the partition thingys but the second we are past them, he insanely comes along side us and is, let's just say, gesturing, and veering towards our car and we're, um, maybe yelling and perhaps Brandon threw a gesture back...(hey, just being honest), and THEN, he floors it, gets in front of us and STOPS.  So, of course, WE have to stop, because, um, crazy man has stopped his car, and I am yelling, "Oh My God!  Oh My God!  What's he doing?!".  At this point, I literally turn into a bear.  A mother bear.  I really know where the term blind rage comes from, because my memory of the next few seconds is fuzzy and is seen from afar, as if I was watching myself.  I know that by now I am in a rage and I remember screaming, "MY CHILDREN ARE IN THIS CAR" as I throw my jacket that I was holding onto the dash and I GET OUT OF THE CAR.  Get out isn't really the best descriptor though, more like FLY OUT.  I beat Brandon - who, mind you, had also started to get out of the car.  He must have still had some sense because I was like, about to vault over his car and beat the sh*t out of this guy.  This late middle age, gray haired guy.  Seriously.  My thoughts are that his guardian angel (or his brain) tapped him on the shoulder and whispered "um, dude, you should probably go because this woman is about to rip your arms off", because he JUMPED back into his little car and screeched the heck out of there.  I leapt back into our car, but I was shaking.  Shaking and feeling that adrenaline and the mad desire to smash some skull and Brandon and I are like, "whoa, what the F--- just happened here?!"  

Of course, after the event, we were left humming with anger and, for lack of a better phrase, unavenged bloodlust.  I'll give us props, as we didn't go tearing off after the guy.  Poor Ronan started to cry (we calmed him down right away) and thank God Isla was rearfacing, so all she saw was the beige headrest of the back seat.  Whew.  And, I can only thank the Lord that that crazy fool jumped back into his car because I know with every fiber of my being that I would have tried to fight him, and likely hurt him.  So, um, that would have been an assault charge on me... Brandon would have probably, oh hopefully pulled me off and not done anything himself to this guy, or that could have wrecked our lives for good.  Like jail, kids in foster homes and court dates and some social service person coming to our house regularly to check in on us "angry people".  And hollah!  Let's not forget, fighting someone in front of your kid is SO not the parent I want to be!  I am a pacifist!  I am Costa Rica, for crying out loud!  What happened to me?  It is scary to know that I was ready to engage!  I mean, I always knew I'd do anything to protect my kids, but actually seeing that primal part of me turn on was nuts.  Do I have an anger issue?  Should I seek counseling?  Does anyone else have an experience like this they would enjoy sharing?  *crickets*  

Oddly, Brandon pointed out that he noticed that the guy had a bunch of hippie peace bumper stickers (so pervasive here in Madison) all over the back of his car.  So, what gives?  Were we driving too slow at 9:45 a.m. on a Sunday morning in a construction zone for this guy?  Was he on drugs?  Did he think we were somebody else?  Argh!  I hope I never really know, or ever see that guy again and I am SO thankful that nothing actually happened that day that I would forever regret, because it could have.  Perhaps this was a rather anti-climactic story, as no heads were busted and no one landed in jail with their children being taken by DCS or anything, but heck, if we were bears, and were in the wild, and this had happened?  Oh yeah, we'd have been eating gray haired middle aged man that night.  No doubt.  

Take home lesson:  Never mess with bears.  Or moms.