Potty learning. The recap.

You may remember I recently spoke of the drudgery and frustration, exhaustion and "WHY ME?!" of my recent foray into ...POTTY TRAINING!!!  Well, it's been two months now, actually 2.5 months, since our journey began (Our meaning my son and I) and I am finally feeling confident enough to suggest, maybe simply whisper it out there to the ether that Ronan has, in fact, got it.  He's done folks.  And, it really wasn't that hard.  I know that first post  kind of set me up for an epic adventure involving months of slogging through wet training pants, but, really, it wasn't so bad.  I mean, sure, we had a few accidents, even recently, but I can tell they are accidents and not him slipping off the potty wagon, so to speak.  But really, for the most part, he's all good.  Goes without prompting, dry all night, pants on and off by himself, usually at least TRIES to wipe himself (although, I still have to go in for a clean up, because, well, you know, those little arms just aren't quite efficient enough yet to truly clean...).  I think I knew we turned a corner when Ronan finally, FINALLY told me that he had to use the potty when we were out in public a while back.  Up until then, even though he had been wearing (and keeping dry) his cotton undies for over a month, I still didn't consider him, well, really potty competent.  But I guess he is.  Right?

When did you consider your child to be potty proficient?  Want to share any tips for future potty trainers out there?

Diapers. For David.

Well, not for David, he won't be wearing them.  He's even older than me and has been using the potty on his own for at least 30 years.  My brother, David, and his wife Dawn, are expecting their first child NEXT MONTH!  Holy wow, that was a quick gestation!  Well, big brother has asked me, little sister and mother of two (both of whom have worn and still wear diapers) my advice, suggestions, tips, what have you, about baby crap collection and it's various forms.

Not to pat my self on the back or anything, but, I am somewhat of an expert on this.  I've probably changed at least a zillion diapers, if not more, so, I think doing something a zillion times renders one quite proficient and knowledgeable.  Good at calculus?  No.  Good at wiping butts?  Yes. Very.

Big brother, David, has shown interest in cloth diapering.  I applaud him, for we really don't need more nasty diapers in landfills.  There are plenty.  Did I mention the time I had to do an archaeological survey on the runoff end of a landfill?  PINK SOIL people.  PINK.  (in case you haven't been outside for a while, soil is not supposed to be pink).  The landfill itself?  We were right up next to it.  It may as well have been called a "diaperfill" 'cuz that's what you could easily make out.  WRECK.

Anyhoo, I'm not going to get on a cloth high horse here, I've used and continue to use my fair share of 'sposies, so, trust me, NO judgement, but I do like to use an alternative whenever possible.

First off, let me just get the whole EC (Elimination Communication) thing off the table here.  I didn't do it.  I'm sure it's awesome.  I've read a ton of testimonials about how fantastic it is to watch your four month old alert you to the fact that she's about to whizz and how you can put her on the potty and she'll go, but I just didn't do it.  I know my limitations.  I am too lazy.  I'm pretty sure my brother is going to be too lazy as well to attempt this, so I'm not even going to suggest it to him.  Okay, back to diapers.

I like a nice mix.  I've tried a variety of cloth, disposable and the flushable g-diapers.  Let's break this down into categories for easy discussion.

Disposable:


Disposable diapers are likely considered the easiest.  On, off, make a diaper burrito and toss.  They are nice for traveling, I'll admit.  I have liked Pampers Swaddlers for newborns.  They're just the softest.  I found the "sensitive" ones to have a less "powdery" and chemically smell.  Be not mistaken though, they're chock full of that chemically absorbing stuff and are bleached with dioxin, so I tried to use them sparingly.

Huggies - too stiff or something for my taste.  Also, they have a little label on the packaging that says, "includes an ingredient to soften babies skin".  Um, no thanks.  I'll put my own skin softening lotions, or whatnot on my baby thanks.  I'm pretty sure I don't want Huggie's mystery ingredient of softness that isn't readily identified rubbing all up on my kids' bits.

Luvs - MAJOR DIAPER RASH.  I know they are economical, but whoa, Isla got HORRIBLE awful dermatitis from only wearing TWO Luvs diapers.  It took well over a week for it to go away.

Seventh Generation - I used these the most.  Dioxin free, yes.  (at least they claim it).  They're pretty soft.  Some people I know who have used them have complained about their somewhat less than stellar absorbency.  Yeah, I never had any real issues with them, but they did okay for me.  I never had major leaks or anything.  Still my favorite disposable.

Generic brands - honestly, I never bought Target or "non-premium" diapers.  I am just that spoiled.  I get it.  I know.  But I'm being honest, I never tried them, so I'm totally down with someone adding a review of another type.  Honestly, if you order delivery through Amazon, it costs the same or less to buy premium diapers and have them delivered to your door in a case load than it does to go to WalMart and pick up a box every week or two.  Just sayin'.

Flushable:

The only kind I ever used that could be flushed are gDiapers Flushable.  I like them.  I have sort of an on again, off again love with them, but for the most part, they have served me well.  They are definitely not as easy as a "one piece" diaper, but it is wicked cool to put baby waste in the toilet and have there be no smell.   Love that about these.  There is a slight learning curve, getting used to the extra stuffing of the insert into the little g pant, but if you have a few on hand, you'll be fine.  I give them two thumbs up.

Cloth:

I've enjoyed using cloth.  I began thinking I'd use basic prefolds, pinned with snappis and covered with a diaper cover.  Um.  No.  My son got immediate diaper rash.  These were a no go for me.  Thankfully I did not invest very much in them and sooo, I looked into the pocket diaper option.   A bit more pricey, but when you consider savings next to disposables, it's a deal.

My favorites have been the Bum Genius one size pocket diapers.  Easy to use, no real leak issues, durable and come in pretty cute colors.  Gives your baby a really big butt.  Which is cute.  :)  I've also had some success with FuzziBunz, but I've only bought a few of them, and they tend to be a bit less absorbent than the Bum Genius.  Another cloth diaper I've liked, but only have two of, as I purchased them on clearance at the local baby boutique, is the Swaddlebee EcoNappi One-Size.  These are bit different as there is no removable insert in them, but instead a sewn in absorbent core.  You just toss this whole thing in the wash.  It DOES take extra drying time to get these perfectly dry, I've discovered.  Negative.  But they are really cute.

The reason I like the Bum Genius is the fact that they are "One Size".  As in, they are adjustable with snaps to accommodate your growing baby.  You can buy one diaper to take you from infant to toddler and that's pretty awesome.  Now, I do not make gigantic babies, so a child who reaches thirty pounds before he's two may need to find a larger size before he's ready to potty learn, but as my almost three year old is only about 33 lbs right now, this was not an issue for me.

Other than the diapers, there are a few more things to consider "gear wise".  You'll need a good pail for your diapers.  I chose a "dry pail" as the pocket diapers do not require you to have a big old pail of water to soak your diapers in.  Seriously, a plastic trash can with a lid will do just fine.  Make sure to get a Diaper Pail Liner (you'll probably want two, one for the wash, one for when your bag is washing and your kid is still making bodily waste) something like this.  I only have one.  I wish I had two.  That's on my "to get" list...  Also, get a diaper sprayer.  The Diaper Sprayer for Cloth Diapers .  I seriously just saw one while getting this link for $99 bucks.  Um. NO.   That's ridiculous.  I'm pretty sure I only paid $19.95 for mine and after 2.5 years, it's practically mint.

Wipes: 
Yeah, you're still going to need to wipe yonder child's behind.  I liked using cloth wipes, simply put in a standard wipe warmer, moistened with my own concoction of Dr. Bronner's  in either peppermint, baby, or unscented, a drop of tea tree essential oil and some distilled water.  Easy peasy.  And you just toss your wipe into the diaper pail.  I'd suggest having about 2 dozen of them.

One last thing.  You're going to need to wash these things.  Most places recommend Charlie's Soap Powder.  I've also used Country Save HE Laundry Detergent.  I case of that stuff is a GOOD DEAL.  Funnily, the less expensive the detergent, the better it seems to wash diapers.  Just sayin'.

For more information, there are a TON of websites that talk dirty nappies.  How to wash, when to strip them when they smell like an old alley frequented by people who urinate outside, how to mix up your own wipe solution and when and how to sell them when you are no longer in diaper land.  I'd suggest www.diaperpin.com and www.greenmountaindiapers.com as good resources for this kind of info.

So, dear brother, Dave.  I hope you found this useful.  Read it.  Look at reviews, and have fun cleaning your kids butt!

Worst. Mother. Ever.

Right?  Okay, people have been asking me how the ole' potty learning is going with my son, Ronan, almost three.  Wellll... we have our good days, and our bad days.  Oh, he's learned all right, how to do it.  When he wants to, he's gold star, one hundred percent, has no problems doing his business in the proper business receptacles.  Public places, at home, big potty, little kiddie potty, whatever, he's been able to do everything everywhere.  Except when he's being a punk.  And lately he's being a punk.  Take today, for example.  This is either my make it or break it time, right now.  As I've explained previously, it is important that we get this potty thing down, as Ronan is going into preschool in August and needs to be doing it on his own.  They aren't diaper friendly.  This is a good school.  Hence, we have our mission.  So, getting back on track, dear Ronan is currently sleeping in a pair of underwear full of poo.  His choice.  At lunch, he did his usual dance about after a few bites because he has the world's most hair trigger gastro-colonic reflex, and I offered, I guided him to, I suggested, I made note aloud that it might be a good time to visit el froggy over there in the special out of the way nook where he could do his business.  I even suggested we go all the way upstairs to our ONE (yes. one.) bathroom and relax up there on the commode.

Him:  NOOOOO!!!!!! I don't have to go potty!  (runs away).

I'm feeding the baby at this time, but suspect that either he is a) using the froggy on his own accord, (as he has done NUMEROUS times) or he's b) crapping his pants.  "B" was correct.

So, my response, as usual was, "poop does not belong in our pants; it belongs in the potty".  He knows this.  He's done it numerous times.  "Ronan?  Where does poo belong?"  Him: "Potty".  Me: "Right".

I take him upstairs, deposit the baby in her crib with some books and prepare for the gentle but insistent ritual of him removing his own pants and soiled undies, putting the poo where it belongs and then washing up, allowing for a clean start.

He says, "I need a bath!" (saying this because when this happened last time, I put him in the bath (after hosing him off with the shower handle) due to the insane amount of shit streaking his legs.)

Me: "First I need you to take your pants off.  You are in charge of this, I know you can do it".

Him: "I can't do it myself!"  (trust me, he can)

Me:  "I know you can, it's up to you.  I'll help you clean up, but first you need to take your pants off and we need to put the poopy where it belongs, in the potty."

Him:  "No!"

Me:  "So....you want to stay in your poopy underpants?"

Him:  "Yes".

Me: "Okay, but if you change your mind, I'll help YOU clean up.  You are in charge of your own body."  (my favorite potty learning catch phrase).

So, off to bed he goes, but I know he's pissed off and kind of shocked I didn't insist on cleaning him up first.  When he wakes up, I intend on suggesting to him again that he takes care of what's going on down there.  I mean, I need to be consistent right?  I am not rewarding this by putting him back in diapers, because a) I KNOW he doesn't need them anymore and b) I am pretty sure that is the wrong thing to do. My gut just tells me so.

So, weigh in, fellow parents.  Am I courting child abuse here?  Am I empowering my son to take these matters into his own hands?  I think so.  I know he's not too young, I mean, I've seen 18 month olds who are fully toilet trained with no issues.  I didn't scold, I didn't shame him, I didn't yell, I just let him know I expected him to take care of his own mess in his pants, and if he didn't want to deal with it, then it would stay there.  I mean, eventually, he'll take care of it right?  Like when he gets a huge rash, probably... Ugh.  I wish there was an easy answer.  I know he's trying to work the control thing with me, I can see it in his eyes, but I want HIM to feel in control of HIMSELF.  I know how happy he gets when he does successfully navigate adult plumbing on his very own... so what gives?

Any advice will be happily received.  Flames too, if you got 'em.  I can take it.

Potty...learning...

I had a lot of sweet titles for this blog post today.  "Diaper Doodie"  "When Sh*t Doesn't Happen" and my favorite, "Just sit on that darn seat and take a crap, kid, seriously, we all do it, and so can you!".  But, I decided to keep it classy, because, you know, I'm all about that.

Anyway, we're deep in the trenches of getting our 2.75 year old son comfortable with using the toilet.  Or potty, or the potty shaped like a frog with the oddly upturned eyes that looks like it's saying, "Oh, boy, don't worry, I won't tell anyone what you're doing...", or, "Is that all I am to you?  A place to urinate?"  I'm really working it now because we're planning on starting R in preschool in the fall.  And, those Montessori folks don't want to change diapers, I guess... so, alas, here we are.  Showing him how to help himself.  I have to say, completely naked, R's good to go.  He calmly uses the potty, then BRINGS me the removable blue bowl to show me and gets really thrilled.  The first time he pooped in the potty, it was an unbidden by me event.  Miss I was napping, I was drying my hair or applying make up in a desperate attempt to look like I'm still in my twenties, or something, and up he comes carrying the potty, little turd sloshing about.

R: "Look Mommy!  I DID it!  I DID it!"

(Trying not to praise too much or make a HUGE deal out of it) Me: My!  Uh, aren't you proud of yourself?!  Now flush it! (in my head I'm imagining the trip up the stairs this little poo carried by a two year old made and how much of it remained on the steps...)

He happily flushes it away, quite proud of his achievement and the flushing is apparently quite exciting.

We've tried a variety of undergarments and my current favorites are these sort of thick pants.  They're easy to pull up and down, much easier than a pull up.  And they are cheap, so I got a bunch.  Basically, my approach is, put one of these on, let him run around without other pants on while at home.  

Today was a good day.  But he was pretty dehydrated considering he'd been throwing up all last night.  Yeah, that was fun, and a nice mommy might have deferred the potty learning for a couple days, but not me! We've got until August 23 to get this child doing his business the way most people do.  I'm pretty sure staying in diapers is doing no one any favors, least of all him, so, there you have it.  I'm gently, but insistently, encouraging him to take control of his own body.  I know he can do it and I just need to give him credit.  

So, anyone have any genius success stories, or "How to get your child using the toilet like the rest of the civilized world in three days or less?".  Anyone?!  

Poo Hands

This was my exact expression. (at least on the inside)

He was supposed to be napping. (Of course he wasn't, though.) Down came my little boy... holding his diaper, which was covered in poo. As were his hands, and legs, and arms and shirt... and... well, you get the idea. He was crying and seemed REALLY unhappy. How do you respond? Well, I did good, I think. With lots of, "it's okay! Let's go right up to the bath!". I smiled through a poo covered and tear filled hug. I wiped him down. (And myself! Ohhh, you didn't think I escaped un-poo-scathed did you!?) But, I didn't puke. It was a miracle. I don't think my boy was permanently scarred, AND, the silver lining...he was more interested in sitting on his potty later that day.

You can't really prepare yourself for times like that, though.