A Quiet Revolution

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead
US anthropologist & popularizer of anthropology (1901 - 1978)

I was going to write about teething today, as Miss Isla is sprouting molars right and left and has decided she can't get enough nursing to ease the discomfort..., but I decided to be pissed off instead and write about something else.

It is no surprise to me that an anthropologist (well, not just any Anthropologist, but Margaret Mead, people!) would write two of the most enduring and truthful and meaningful sentences ever written.  As an anthropologist, it is sometimes hard for me to see things small scale anymore.  I see so many big things going wrong all over the world and their complexity and the very interrelatedness of almost all events and lives is often staggering.  Often, I find myself floundering by trying to choose what to become passionate about.  There's too much to choose from!  Maybe I shouldn't fight anything, but that's not me, and I know it.  But what do I do when I'm completely turned inside out with outrage and despair when I hear about something tragic?  Usually, like most people, I don't do anything, and eventually the indignation and anger and momentum falls away quietly like a tide.  So I've decided that maybe I need to start small.  Make a list.  A lot of things piss me off, and I need to get them off my chest and out of my heart, and maybe, just maybe I'll be bold enough to try to change something, however small, because I truly do believe that one small act can be felt around the world.

So.  My list.  And I am not going to explain anything, just use these as a springboard.  Perhaps for your own discussion.

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF 

(and maybe you, as well)

Driving on Beaches

Unsustainable lifestyles

Too many birth interventions

Rampant consumerism

Child abuse and neglect

Animal abuse

Bigotry

Homophobia

Our apparent disregard for the Earth

Reality television that exploits children

Ignorance

People who think their beliefs are "right" and others are "wrong"

And oh, there is SO very much more.  So so much.  But what to do?  Bury my head in the sand and go drop $100 bucks at Target?  That's pretty much been my MO for the last several years.  Certainly I can make all sorts of excuses such as "my children are my priority now - I don't have time to help", but that's probably bullshit.  Simply because I am amazingly fortunate and grateful and totally in love with my life as a parent doesn't mean that I don't think about how f-cked up our world is.  Perhaps it eats at me even more simply because I find myself constantly asking, "what kind of world am I leaving for my children?"  Thoughts like that make me want to bury my head in the sand.  

Anyway, one thing that has me recently outraged is the story I linked about the four year old being killed by a car driving on the beach.  CARS HAVE NO PLACE ON THE BEACH.  Damn, on Hilton Head a few years ago a person was killed by an emergency vehicle driving on the beach.  Sheesh!  Now, I understand that emergency vehicles probably need to be able to come down, but THAT IS IT!  This poor baby boy was the second child in FOUR MONTHS in THIS COUNTY to be struck and killed by a car on the beach!

Now, I'm not blaming the people who drive on the beach, after all, it's allowed; the responsibility rests with the city.  Not enough beach parking they cry.  BUILD SOME.  Rip down some piece of shit, empty high rise and dilapidated mid-century hotel with hourly rates and BUILD SOME PARKING.  Sooo many beaches in this country are protected from beach driving these days, and yet, Florida has far too many.  And I've been on lots of them.  It's a lot of redneck posturing and people driving way too fast with radios blaring WAY too loud.  Am I stereotyping?  Um, not really.  There are a lot of normal beach going folks who just want to get out there, get their towels down and build a sand castle or whatnot.  You know what, even I have driven on the beach.   In Jacksonville.  And afterwards I thought about it.  "Hmm, that kind of sucked.  And we should leave now".  This beach has no other way to get out to it except by car, so in that regard I can kind of understand, but I also think, You know?  There are plenty of beaches, maybe this small strip should just be left in peace.  Besides, that park had PLENTY of other easily accessible entrances to other beach areas.  Why must we exploit every freaking inch?!?!?!?

*sigh.  So, I am going to be a vocal opposition to beach driving.  Slowly but hopefully surely, I will fight to eliminate beach driving from Volusia County.  That's one thing I can try to do.

My Fears: A list.

I'm pretty sure he doesn't have too many worries. I hope it is a long time before they begin to settle on his wee shoulders.

I am an anxiety freak. I worry worry worry about so many things that I cannot control. I know it does no one any good. Especially not me, and definitely not my kids. But I do know that just admitting things and writing them down is a good way to face your fears and get things off your chest and help deal. So, here I am, dealing. So, listen if you want. Add your own if you have them, and mock me if you will. :)

1. Fear of losing one of my children.

This is obviously my number one fear. By losing, I don't mean a "Oh shit, where are they?" in Costco for a few minutes, but full on loss. I don't know how people cope and go on living.

I worry about car accidents, horrible terminal diseases, freak accidents, forgetting them in the car on a hot day, kidnapping, drowning, falling down stairs, banging their head on the pavement, impalement, SIDS, EVERYTHING. For a few months this winter, it got almost debilitating. Didn't help that I was living in a place with very few friends and basically no one to share this with (except my husband, love you and thanks for listening, and Kiki). It was probably some post partum depression manifesting along with seasonal affective disorder thrown in, but, whatever it was, it sucked. I worry about my kids so much, I sometimes don't know how to do anything else, but I always manage and I am supposing that everyone else does the same thing. So, I'm not going to stress myself out thinking I'm a freak or anything. I know I have some mild OCD, so I'm sure that that feeds it. I'm dealing.

2. Loss of husband. This one sucks too. What can I say, insert the above fears and it's the same thing.

3. You know, the only real sadness I have about the thought of my own death, is missing out on watching my children grow up. That would blow. I'm more worried about losing one of my parents, though. That would really mess me up too. *sigh.

4. The fact that we are totally screwing up the planet and I'm pretty sure it's not reversible.

Humans. We suck. I am seriously scared for the world my children are going to inherit. It's not even about no polar bears. It's about the absolute devastation of the world. It's some scary shit. And it's amazing that the people in power in this world would rather continue to line their pockets than work towards preserving the planet and put their hands over their ears and tell people that there is no such thing as Global Warming and la la la la la, buy a bigger car and buy more STUFF from Wal Mart and consume consume consume. And trust me, hellooo, I am not living off the grid here, I have a big car and a Target habit that I am trying to curb, so, you know. I am part of the problem. But at least I see that. It's a start.

5. Getting fat. Yeah. That's a shallow one, but I thought I'd end it up on a light note. LOL I don't want to get fat. I like being small. I'd like to be a bit smaller and I'm not going to apologize for that.

So there. There's my current list of the things on the top of my mind that fly through my head at random times that make me a bit melancholy (more than I usually am). I'm working on it.