Yee Haw!!! It's that time of year again everyone, the once every two years ELECTION SEASON!!! Woot woot! What???? You say? Wait, isn't it only 2010? I've got another two years before I can slap some stickers on my car and proclaim myself patriotic! Come on, I KID. I KNOW you are all as excited as I am to flex your 15th Amendment (if you've got a penis) and your 19th Amendment (if you're awesome!) right to VOTE. Cast that ballot! Have your say! Make your voice heard!!!!! Can you tell I'm excited? This little liberal loves to fill in some bubbles, I must add and I like to bring my sample ballot with me so I can be a really super fast voter extraordinaire!
Let me be honest with y'all. The mid term elections have never truly thrilled me. I've only been voting in the last two or three times they've come around, but I like to do it. Mostly because, really important things, get voted on in these elections. Not just president. School levy's, Homestead exemptions for our troops, the freaking GOVERNOR of your state! Um, hello, I definitely want to be out there putting my vote against someone who defrauds Medicare. Um, more than once. Right? This is big stuff! Really big! Well, er, um, most of it is...
I tend to lose interest when we get to, oh, say, Circuit Judges... And while I probably just shouldn't fill in the bubble for anyone if I truly don't have an opinion one way or another, well, sometimes I can't help myself. So! I'll share with you "How Catherine votes if she really has no effing clue!"
It goes something like this. I'm reading my sample ballot and once the big stuff is taken care of, things I've confidently researched and asked questions about, etc., I find myself facing an assortment of names that have really no meaning to me. Oh, don't get me wrong, I know they are important, this is shameful, and I admit it, but I'm all about honesty here. So, as I see these names floating in front of me, I come up with games. They're all non-partisan (well, at least according to the ballot, ahem), so I can't easily select for the obvious big D, which is, of course, my when in doubt go to. If it's a man and a woman, I obviously vote for the woman. If it's two men or two women, I figure out whose name I like better. Today, for example, one man's name sounded a lot like "Horcrux", an item featured in Harry Potter books. I like Harry Potter books. I voted for Horcrux. Several names I recognized from signs that litter my neighbors yards to such an excess that they scream at me from the sides of the road. I definitely do NOT vote for any of these names. Why? Well, let's just say, my political opinions are unique amongst those of most of my neighbors. If THEY like them, I can tell you that I most certainly do NOT want them representing me. For one circuit judge position, I reached into my back pocket and drew out the card that a kindly looking man from the parking lot handed me as I was walking into the library for early voting (Day ONE, y'all!), and assured me that Mr. So and So for Judge was, in his words, "a good man". "Oh yeah?" I said, "Sounds good!" And he got my vote. In my romantic mind, I imagined said kindly man as this eager young soldier of justice's proud and devoted father. Raising young Mr. So and So alone, having lost his wife to an early illness, kindly parking lot man taught his son all about equality, kindness, compassion, strength and moral fiber. Of course they must be of like mind with me, I innocently conjecture, and so, with that, I fill the bubble for Mr. So and So. Perhaps he is a minion of the Dark Prince, but sheesh, he's a circuit judge, I mean, come on.
Let's be honest here people. Back in '08, when I was schlepping door to door for THE PRESIDENT, *ahem, - I met lots of people who were all, "Wha? Voting time already? Where do I even go do that?" I mean really. At least I get out there. Like my methods or not.
So, remember, election season is every TWO years. Go my friends, flex your rights!*
*If you are citizens of the United States of America, of course. And of legal voting age.
*Catherine cannot be held accountable for problems with the country based on her votes.
*Catherine does not recommend her bizarre method of choosing candidates as the ONLY way to vote. This is just one way.
2 comments:
LOL! Love this timely post....this is such an important election. Besides defaulting to the big 'R' when in doubt (which I often do not like but things are what they are) I have foolishly tried to read and understand the ballot and yeah.... I need a new strategy. Most of our neighbors hate us so I will be paying more attention to the signs in their yards and will cast my vote accordingly. Thanks for the tip! xoxo
As difficult as I find it to believe anyone could hate you guys, K, I do know how it feels to have different political leanings from ones nearest neighbors. I actually placed a few independent votes this season. I truly wish we had a viable third party in our country. Like you say, things are what they are. As hard as it might be to believe, B and I are actually pretty quiet about these things (no signs in our yard) unless we're directly asked or engaged. I love the internet! Here i can be loud! Doffing my mild mannered alter-ego! But, on point, I'm still floored by how many people don't vote! Especially women! Maybe I was a suffragist in a former life or something? Hah!
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